First, this is not an endorsement of promiscuity, or even polyamory. It’s just a statement of fact about raw human drives. The more we understand what truly motivates and emotionally validates ourselves and each other, the better our relationships can be in reality. Men did not develop to be monogamous. It doesn’t matter how you feel about that, it’s a fact of nature. That’s not to say that we can’t be monogamous, or that we can’t be happy being monogamous

We developed to be whores. But whores with a higher cause: for the sake of the species survival. While women developed to ensure that offspring thrived long-term, men developed to ensure that offspring were created at all, and that we created as many as possible aggressively. We have not evolved beyond this core wiring. These are facts of evolution, regardless of exceptions and regardless of how we all may or may not have been culturized by either tradition or modern mores today.

At every man’s core is the drive for variety. You can’t refute it. It’s a fact of Natural Selection in action. Sexual variety ensures a vast and diverse (and therefore healthy) gene pool for humanity. It’s why we walk around at any given time with millions of sperm, and can “reload” in as soon as a few minutes effortlessly. Note that how we ultimately behave in modern relationships is irrelevant to biology. That we’ve learned to deny our instincts via experience and culture is irrelevant too.

And the man who gives up sexual variety for a “modern relationship” with the love of his life still feels its loss keenly. While we are capable of committing to one woman, it’s not in our nature truly. Without variety, we inevitably get sexually bored over time. Witness almost any modern relationship that’s more than a year old fading. No matter how much a man loves a woman, he will suffer from sexual boredom eventually. Those one or two exceptions don’t disprove the rule.